Dealing with Fear in Sports: Tips from an Athlete and Therapist

As a former Division 1 scholarship athlete, captain of the women’s soccer team at Cal State Long Beach, and now a surfer and psychotherapist, I often find myself working with other driven, ambitious, and competitive individuals. Whether they are “former” athletes (I’m not sure that ever really goes away), crushing it in their corporate careers, navigating entrepreneurship, or a bit of both, I’ve been reflecting lately on the athlete mindset. In conversations with my physical therapist, dietitian, and fellow athlete friends lately, I’ve been called into reflect on how unique the athlete mindset is: how we recover, how we view and address problems, how we adapt and welcome change, as well as how we address things like perfectionism and burnout. Often times, past experiences can color our future ones, but they also make us more discerning and wise to address challenges in the future.

I’ll never forget hearing my mentor Dr. Chris Hoff talk about a question he asked a client who was struggling with fear. It was something along the lines of, "What if fear comes out into the future with you?" Sometimes we think fear needs to be completely gone before we feel “ready” to jump into doing something hard or outside our comfort zone.

There’s a concept in sports called self-efficacy, which is our belief in our ability to accomplish something, which builds over time and experience. We may have high self-efficacy in one area of our lives, such as our sport, but low self-efficacy in others, like work or academics. We can build this over time through practice, for example, by reminding ourselves of waves we've surfed in similar conditions before jumping in, and through a narrative therapy concept called "circulating stories."

The stories we speak to ourselves in our minds, as well as those we verbalize to others and have circulated back to us, create our constructed reality. These stories are constantly shifting, meaning there is always room for movement in our beliefs about what we can do. If you think about a time during a game or competition where fear was present, what story would highlight your strengths (rather than fear) and build momentum toward the belief that you can do hard things?

For example, a “fear” story you might tell a friend after a surf session could be, “I pulled out of that drop at the last second,” or “I fell on that wave because I hesitated.” On the other hand, a story that circulates beliefs around your ability to meet the challenge and excel might be, “I pulled off a great takeoff this morning,” or “I took extra strokes to really get into that wave.”

Ready to shift out of "fear mode" and back into your peak performance? Whether you’re an active athlete, a former competitor, or a high-achiever in your career, therapy can help you build high self-efficacy and quiet the mental noise. Reach out to me to get started.

Finally, I sometimes use the metaphor of wearing “fear glasses” with my clients.

• If you’re out playing your sport with fear glasses on, how are you going to play? How will that change your performance if you’re performing from a place of fear?

• Now, if you were to take those glasses off, where would you be leading from instead? People often answer with things like “confidence,” “fun,” “presence,” or “flow.”

Fear isn't all bad, it often shows up to keep us safe. The idea is to develop a relationship to it and lead from the place we want to lead from, rather than letting fear run the show when it doesn’t need to. It takes practice and reflection to recognize when we’re operating from a place of fear and to map out the effects it has on our performance.

Wanting to step out of fear and into peak performance?

I offer narrative, relationally-focused therapy online across California and in-person in Costa Mesa.

Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see how we can work together through your transition.

Email: ksuzanwilson@gmail.com

Phone: (657) 339-2672

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