Relationship Therapy Questions

When couples come into therapy, they often ask me, What are relationship therapy questions? This is a really important topic, and it’s great to be thinking about before coming into therapy. I see the question “What are relationship therapy questions?” in two ways.

First, I think about the questions that bring relationships into therapy in the first place. Sometimes these questions are spoken aloud: Should we be communicating better? Should we stay together for the kids? How do we heal after infidelity? Other times, they live quietly in the back of our minds until they bubble up: Why don’t we feel close anymore? Is this all there is? How did we get so far apart?

I truly don’t believe there’s any question that’s off-limits or inappropriate to bring into relationship therapy. Often, the questions we’re asking ourselves about our relationship come attached to “shoulds” or “musts” — rules we’ve picked up from family, culture, religion, or society about what a “good” relationship is supposed to look like. Sometimes, couples find themselves wrestling with whether they’re measuring up to ideas that may not even fit them anymore.

This is something I like to slow down with. We spend time noticing whose voices shaped these questions, whether they’re still serving the relationship, and what your own vision really looks like when we strip away everyone else’s expectations. I really believe that couples have so much more room to shape a relationship that works for them — one that honors who they really are and how they want to live together.

The second way I think about “relationship therapy questions” is about the questions I’ll ask you when we’re working together. Therapy is a space for conversation, curiosity, and discovery. It’s not just about fixing problems — it’s about understanding what matters most to you both and how you want to move forward together. Some questions I often ask in relationship therapy are:

• What are your hopes for this relationship?

• What’s been lost along the way?

• When did things start to feel different?

• What does the relationship need from both of you right now?

• What do you wish your partner could really hear or understand about you?

• Where did the trust go, and what needs to be attended to? 

• What’s it like to hear your partner say that? 

• What would it mean for you to be on the same team again?

Questions like these are to help us get curious together, to notice patterns, and to find new ways to communicate and connect. Sometimes, couples tell me that no one has ever asked them these things before — and just hearing or asking these questions out loud can open up entirely new conversations at home.

If you’re reading this and already thinking about your own relationship therapy questions, you’re not alone. Starting to wonder about what you need, what you want, and what feels possible is such a meaningful first step. Whether you’re feeling stuck in the same arguments, recovering from a betrayal, or just wanting to feel close again, you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Asking about “relationship therapy questions” is a great way to begin shaping the direction of our work together. My approach is always collaborative — I’m here to ask thoughtful questions, listen deeply, and help you both find clarity about what you want your relationship to look like moving forward.

If these questions resonate with you and your partner, therapy can offer the space to explore them with care, curiosity, and support. Working with a relationship therapist Orange County can help you rediscover what matters most, repair disconnection, and build a relationship that truly reflects who you are together.

If you’re ready to get started with getting your relationship back on track — or discovering what that track might look like — please reach out for a free 15-minute Zoom consult with you and your partner. I’d love to hear what questions are on your mind.

Get in touch:

✨ Learn more about my work with couples

📞 ‪(657) 339-2672‬

📧 ksuzanwilson@gmail.com