How Often Does Abuse Happen?

Quick Answer: How often does abuse happen? Research shows that nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime. Abuse is widespread, often underreported, and takes many forms—physical, emotional, psychological, and financial.

When we ask, “How often does abuse happen?” we’re stepping into a difficult but necessary conversation. Abuse cuts across all communities, ages, and backgrounds. Understanding its frequency is important, but it’s equally vital to recognize how people respond to abuse, resist it, and exercise agency even in situations where power feels unequal.

Research shows that nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience intimate partner violence (IPV) in their lifetime. These numbers highlight that abuse is widespread, yet underreported. Many victims face barriers to speaking out, including shame, fear, or threats, which means these statistics may only capture part of the picture. Abuse can happen in many environments—not just in romantic relationships, but also within families, workplaces, and other social settings.

IPV is historically underreported, but estimates are that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience IPV in their lifetime.

When we explore how often abuse happens, we need to acknowledge all its forms. Abuse isn’t only physical harm. Emotional abuse, coercive control, verbal attacks, and financial manipulation also deeply affect victims. 

As a therapist specializing in this population, I work from a response-based approach (Dr. Allan Wade) which acknowledges victim resistance, resilience, and active responses to abuse. Even in the most challenging circumstances, people find ways to resist violence—whether by seeking help, setting boundaries, or finding acts of resistance. Recognizing these responses honors victims’ strength and challenges myths that abuse happens without any opposition.

Honoring agency in this way is an important part of healing. Therapy can be a space where survivors’ resistance and strategies are recognized and built upon, helping people reclaim their sense of power and rebuild connections with their own values and hopes. In therapy, these stories of resistance become vital parts of the narrative, not overshadowed by the abuse itself.

Very importantly, understanding how often abuse happens also calls us to consider the systemic and cultural conditions that allow abuse to persist. Marginalized groups, such as people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, and people with disabilities, often experience higher rates of abuse and face more barriers to support. Response-based practice encourages us to notice not only individuals’ responses but also the social context that shapes what is possible. This broader awareness is key to creating more just and supportive environments.

Therapy offers a consistent, compassionate space to explore these experiences and to support healing on your own terms. If you’re wondering how often abuse happens, know that you’re not alone—and that your responses, resistance, and dignity matter deeply. If you want to explore your experiences in a space that honors your strength and supports your healing, please reach out. Schedule a free 15-minute consult call or learn more about starting therapy together.

👉 If you’re looking for support, compassionate guidance is available. Learn more about therapy in Costa Mesa and how it can help you or a loved one navigate healing after abuse.

Get in touch:

✨ Learn more about Therapy for Victims of Abuse with Kelsey

📞 ‪(657) 339-2672‬

📧 ksuzanwilson@gmail.com